I wrote and rewrote this post several times but it seems like no matter what I write, it comes out sounding cheesy. It sounds like I’m trying super desperately hard to write the right thing. I don’t want to be that way. I want this to feel like we’re just sitting around chatting about waffles. Because that obviously makes sense. In other news, sometimes I feel like talking about food is pointless. I love food, and making it, and eating it, and preparing it in particular ways. But sometimes I wonder, what’s the point? Who cares? I even bore myself sometimes.
It doesn’t help that as I’m trying to write this, random tips about writing successful blog posts from a bunch of different articles I’ve read on Pinterest keep flying through my head. Do you have any idea how annoying that is? I just get so sick of reading these, “Do These 10 Things to Double Your Engagement In A Month” articles. “Well, why don’t you stop reading them?” You may ask. I’ll tell you why. It’s because they have such darn good click bait, that I can’t help myself. What if THIS article is the one that has steps that are at least somewhat reasonable? What if after I follow their steps, I DO double my engagement? And if you’ve never tried to “make it” in the world of bloggers, creatives, or entrepreneurs, then you might be lost about now. Or deciding that I have a very serious problem. (Don’t worry, I’m quite aware of my problems. Could you recommend a therapist please?) Or, who knows? Maybe I’m the only one who gets tired of those articles but reads them anyways. (In which case, I really DO need a therapist.)
So waffles. They’re good, right? I’m going to give you the steps to make the perfect waffle. Or, you can just come over to my house for breakfast on a Saturday morning and I'll make it for you. We rarely sleep in. So you’re more than welcome. (I’m not kidding.)
Step One: Set the stage. Preheat your waffle iron. Have batter ready and waiting. Have coffee ready and waiting. Heat up syrup. Soften butter. You get it, right? The point is, have everything almost ready before you put the batter in the iron, so that when it comes out, you can eat it immediately. THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.
Step Two: Pour that batter in. You know how when you go to motels and they have those fancy waffle irons that flip? You can buy them, you know. It truly does make your waffle better--I've rarely have a waffle turn out good in an iron that didn't flip over--there's just something about it. It's the way a waffle is supposed to be made. I picked up this nice little oster waffle iron for $6 two years ago at a thrift store. And guess what? You can turn it over and it still lays perfectly flat. BOOM>>amazing waffles without having to go buy one of those fancy flipping irons.
Step Two B: There are two things you should not do to the inside of your waffle iron: wash or spray with no-stick stuff. Lemme esplain. When you spray your iron, it tends to not go on evenly and therefore often results in splotchy browning (eww). To oil your iron, put some oil on a paper towel and rub it all around in the crevices and such. When you are done with your iron, do not wash the inside--it breaks up your nonstick coating. Eventually you won't have to oil it at all! (IF you are grossed out about not washing your iron--this is not much different than what you're supposed to do with cast iron to make it nonstick.) There may be some exceptions to this—older irons especially may need to be oiled every time. But if you have problems with waffles sticking, this could be why.
Step 3: Let your waffle cook until it’s desired shade of doneness. If you like a soggy waffle, take it out when it’s lightly brown. If you like a perfect waffle, take it out when it’s a medium-dark shade of golden brown. If you like a crunchy waffle, cook until very dark brown. The perfect waffle has a crisp on the outside and a soft center. No matter what you cook your waffle to, just keep in mind that about a quarter of the way through eating it, it will get softer than when it first came out of the iron so it's good to slightly overcook it.
Step Four: Spread soft butter on and relish the magic of butter melting into a waffle. If you don't want a fancy waffle that's still perfectly delish, just skip steps five & six.
Step Five: Crème Fraiche that bad boy. I recently discovered this pairing, and it is SO GOOD, especially with a sourdough waffle (recipe for that coming at a later date!
Step Six: Add some fruit--raspberries are my favorite! A close second is dark sweet cherry pie filling!
Step Seven: And last, but most certainly not least: drizzle hot syrup over your work of art. Two keys words here: drizzle and hot. Drizzle, because almost nothing ruins a waffle more than having too much syrup. And yes, it is most definitely possible. Hot, because nothing ruins a good waffle more than serving it with cold syrup. It is the most reprehensible thing. And if, after reading this article, you ever serve me waffles with cold syrup, I will look you in the eye and say, "How. dare. you." And I will not eat the waffle you have set before me. And I will have failed.
Bonus Tip: Add vanilla and a little bit of maple flavoring to your waffles to boost their awesomeness!
I hope you have gained something from my experience. I'd love to hear about your waffle experiences! (Or if you have the name of a therapist you want to share.)
Now go, and make better waffles for all!